Spike on the River
Neal in Antarctica
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September 24, 2007 - Monday, 11:41 p.m.
I have no intention of ever ‘converting’ S to the Faith. I know that the Faith is a gift, you should always offer it to people, but it is their choice to accept it or not. I have no requirement to convert anyone. I only have the requirement to offer it. As long as he is a good person, who I know that he is, then I believe that God will take care of him every bit as much as he would take care of me. I have a huge open loving heart, and it just hurts that someone would think me evil without ever meeting me. That some one would warn someone I care a great deal about away from me. ::sighs::
My thoughts that things were going really good, feel very much dampened. I feel fragile and sad. S didn’t seem different tonight, but I fear the things this guy said to him will hang in his mind, and it will hurt me unbearably if he chooses to believe this guy over what he has come to know of me over the last 5 months.
Does it seem too much to hope that someone could just love me for who I am? That they could accept all the things that I am, and see that good in me?! My God, I spend this huge portion of my life and effort taking care of people and loving people. I feel just crushed.
::sighs:: I got my review today. It wasn’t outstanding, but the review was good. I got a 4.5% raise, which wasn’t bad out of the 5% possible. After 20 years I am finally making what my dad was making 18 years ago. Is that sad or what?!? I felt pretty good about it any way… but now there is this cloud hanging over me and I can’t find the good feeling I had at 4:30 pm today.