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November 20, 2005 - Sunday, 11:50 a.m.

Addictions...

I know Iíve talked about my Grandma B before, I just canít remember what I talked about. I guess that is the chance we take when we tell stories, we begin to forget which ones weíve shared and often repeat ourselves. My kids will back me up on this one. I do it to them all the time.

My Grandmaís father was an alcoholic. My grandma didnít drink. My grandpa, her husband, at about twenty-one told her, ďI think I like to drink too much. I donít think Iíll drink anymore.Ē And he didnít. My father is just like that. He decides to change something and he just does. Wish I could have inherited that trait!! Anyway, my Grandpa died when he was only 38 years old. He had a bad valve in his heart. I think the doctors could hear the murmur and put him on bed rest for most of the last years of his life. My father would sit on his Dadís bed, color and play, while his mom was busy. His father died just before my Dadís third birthday, and I mean like the day before.

My grandma became a widow at 36. She had five children. The youngest was six months old, and the oldest about 13. She raised four boys and one girl by herself. Like Iíve said before it would have been nice to have had my Grandma around to talk to, perhaps she would have had some pointers for raising boys on my own.

Two of my Dadís brothers continued to live in the local area they all grew up in. My Grandma lived close to them. In their mid-twenties they both began to have problems with alcohol and it began to affect their marriages. My Grandma went and talked to both of them. She came down hard on them and told them that they needed to quit or it was going to wreck their marriages. I guess she really gave it to them, she didnít hold back any punches. And like good young men, they listened to their Mother, because she was right. They both quit drinking and really never drank after that. They both remained married to their wives all their lives. My Dadís older brotherís wife died from leukemia a few years back, and my Dadís younger brother and wife are still around.

I always figured we were born with those same addictive type personalities. The Faith kept us all from drinking and doing drugs, but at some time weíve all had problems with food. My ex-husband is Irish, that doesnít mean heís an alcoholic, but his family has similar problems, though they all still drink. So I worry about my boys. Not that they drink or do drugs, but that addictive personality does make an appearance, in one form or another, like over-eating, gaming or gambling. In my family I guess I worry more about gaming as an addiction. It doesnít wreak havoc on a life, necessarily, but if you spend too much time doing ANYTHING it affects the relationships in your life.

I am going to talk to Justin here when he gets back from taking Moon to work. She is sad. She is concerned that Justin games too much, and doesnít or wonít stay focused on school. She wants to have a family, but she wants to see that Justin is going to be able to complete that education and get a good job. And because I also game some, she hasnít talked to me about her worries, but Charlotte is hearing about it. Actually she is hearing the same concerns from Moon and Amity, who is my nephew, Joshís wife. Josh and Justin have been best friends since they were 18 months old. I am sure that Char probably feels that both Camille and I game too much, as do most of our kids. I certainly can see the addictiveness it has played in my own life; with very little effort I could spend an inordinate amount of time on the computer playing multi-player games, but I stay away from it for the most part. Though you may recall that a few weeks ago, I escaped to that world for a bit. Iím not letting it impact my time like I have in the past. I am really THE best person to talk to my own kids about this, and it has been left to me.

LaterÖ

That went well. He was already aware of most of what I had to say, but I reinforced some of the types of things he can do to help Moon not worry so much. We talked about school and work. It was a nice talk. I sure do love my kids, including Moon.

It almost time to head off for a committee meeting and then to Ruhi after that. Itís going to be a busy day. The water main broke in front of the house, water gushing everywhere except out of our faucets. I hope they have the water back on by the time I get home.

M.

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