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August 14, 2005 - Sunday, 11:55 p.m.

Initially I thought that I�d be able to work some before and after the wedding, but as I realized that I was probably going to have to do the flowers myself, I ended up taking the entire day off from work. (Which ended up being a good thing). Maqui showed up just before 8 am on Friday and we did the flowers. A bridal bouquet, 8 boutonnieres, 2 corsages, 3 small bouquets for the bridesmaid�s, a small bouquet to throw, and a centerpiece for the head table�. Oh ya, and a wreath of flowers for her hair!! Jiminy!!! I�ve done corsages and boutonnieres in the past, but never bouquets or hair pieces!! Gah!! We barely got done in time to get ready for the wedding which started at 11:30 am. We ended up arriving about 15 minutes late. However� we beat all the other bridesmaids by about 15 minutes and the BRIDE by a half hour!!

The bride�s father seemed to be very happy for his daughter. He seemed very sweet. The wedding was outdoors at a gazebo in Green Mountain Falls. The ceremony was simple and the amount of guests very small. The photos worked out pretty good. The bride and groom were thrilled, but I wasn�t 100% happy with what I got. The reception ended up being in Ellicott!!! Gah!! Ended up being the whole day!! She�d hoped for more photos at the reception, so I ended up going out to that. The bridesmaid�s, other then Maqui, didn�t show up for the reception and it very much hurt the bride�s feelings. There were very few people there from the bride�s side of the family, and knowing that I was saddened by these girls not showing up for her. The bride was sweet and I was glad to be able to help as much as I did. She was so thankful for our presence.

Later that evening, Camille, Moon and I headed up to Cripple Creek to meet my mother and my aunt who was visiting from California. We ate dinner and visited with them. This was my chance to see Peggy as I�d been in North Dakota when they had a family get together over the weekend. After dinner we wandered around the casinos and didn�t head home until nearly midnight.

Saturday I slept in. It felt like Sunday and it was nice to know that it wasn�t. My sleeping in only amounted to about 9 am. Then I was out in the yard mowing the lawn and then weeding and trimming the dead flowers in the flower beds. My mother called after lunch and told me that there was going to be a deepening followed by a pot luck at 4 pm. I�d already planned to head out to a movie at 2 and did that. I saw �Must Love Dogs�. A very cute movie, that left me feeling a little sad. (Even though it had a great ending!) It seems that those that �deserve� love ALWAYS find it in the movies. And in this movie, her family was like �My Gosh, it�s been 8 months since your divorce, you need to find someone.� And of course, she does. All I could think as I walk out of the theatre is it�s been 14 YEARS for me� 14 years without any long term serious relationship. Grrr�. Bummed me out.

By the time the pot luck was over and we watched a video presentation, I just came home and crawled into bed. I was terribly tired.

This morning I was up early and did a 1 � hour hike with Mary and a small group of Bah��s. It was really a beautiful walk. It was cloudy and threatening rain. We saw a number of deer, mostly males with antlers. I thought a lot about Phil as I walked. It was a silent hike, where we didn�t talk at all, so plenty of time to just think and absorb nature. I said some prayers to myself as we returned to the cars. Then off to Woodland Park for Ruhi. We�ve started book two. We�ll be doing that now every Sunday, but in the evenings from now on.

This afternoon I finally tackled my bills. GAH!! I hate doing them. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my student loan money had been deposited in my account. Hooray!! Oh my Gosh!! It made the bill paying MUCH less stressful and I made a point to write checks and physically mail some bills I�ve had sitting around for a while. What a relief to have that all done for another month. I also took the time the write a �thank you� note to Kathy and Steve for having me up to the lake last weekend. I also took the time to send a note to Bill, the guy that bought Grandma�s farm. I have been meaning to thank him for allowing us to come to the house any time we are in the area. I also sent him a couple of the entries I�d written about my Grandmother. I figured he might enjoy it.

After I was done I popped �Dante�s Peak� into the DVD player and watched that. I was about half way into it when a friend from high school called. I was surprised. I haven�t talked to her in about 4 years. Her brother was the guy that got me into �Visionworks� in February. She called me about him. I guess he has a terribly serious drinking problem. I was very surprised. I had no idea. He�s drinking himself to death and they�ve done a number of interventions to little avail. His wife has had to step away. Nothing they are doing is helping. His sister, Judie, my friend says she�s come out a number of times, but he won�t talk to her any more. They are at a point where this upcoming intervention is to get him into a locked down facility to stop the drinking. It looks to be involuntary, as he won�t go in of his own accord. She wondered if I would do the intervention with her other brother this week. Her brother has been taking care of the interventions, but they�ve about gone through everyone and she is hoping that I will help. I said, �In a heartbeat, just tell me when and where� I�ll be there.� It�s a hard thing to open up the doors of the closets of your family and your life, and I hope that I can somehow be of help to them. I will definitely say prayers for Jim and do whatever I can to help.

I watched �Meet Joe Black� tonight. I�m tired and really need to go to bed. I managed to keep myself from the jam tonight. It was hard, but knowing I can�t really show up alone made it pretty easy. The chance of me finding people to go with me isn�t going to be often as I�d like. But really I don�t have the option to go alone� ::sighs:: I miss him, but I know I have to just be patient and expect nothing.