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October 16, 2004 - Saturday, 5:44 p.m.

Saturday in Autumn

It still surprises me when, as I am driving to work, I see hot air balloons on the eastern horizon. There is something about the Front Range that makes it perfect for early morning balloon rides. Still, in my mind, hot air balloons are amazing.

This morning I could hardly get myself to wake up, too many short nights this past week. Friday was a day. My friend, L, had a test at the hospital and they asked her not to drive. So I dragged myself out of bed Friday morning and took off to work hoping to get some work done before I took her to the hospital. I ran her up to the hospital and then back to work. It was a busy day and it seemed the day slipped by quickly. About 11 am she called me from the hospital to let me know she was ready to be picked up. I ran back over to the hospital and then took her back to my house so she could crash and be watched by someone. Curtis was there, he made her something to eat and she slept most of the afternoon. I went back to work and found an email from my sister Lynn. She was going to be up at my parent’s house and invited everyone up for the evening. It sounded like fun, but wasn’t going to say anything to L, just figured I’d wait to see what she decided she wanted to do. I hurried out of work about 3:20 pm and went to pick up G, L’s daughter from day-care and then back to my house. Mother and daughter reunited and I was off to a massage I had scheduled for the afternoon.

It was an interesting massage. I’ve got chronic lower back pain, surely brought on by my lack of abdominal exercises. The guy did something call visceral massage, which is basically a realigning of the organs, and an attempt to remind the organs how to move naturally. I’m not sure it’ll help my lower back, but figured it was worth a try. I did miss the back massage. Next month I guess. Then back home.

L, Curtis and Moon were watching “Rosemary’s Baby”. Gag!! No interest in that at all. They paused the movie and we ate some dinner and then they went back to watching it after dinner and I went to my room and watched some tv with G and then eventually laid down on the bed figuring perhaps I could nod off for a while. Time was passing and I figured I wouldn’t be joining anyone in WP. I took L & G home about 9:30 and then went back home and crawled into bed. Watched a little TV and went to sleep.

This morning Lynn called. I'm going to be an AUNT again!! Pretty exciting!! It'll be her 5th kid and the 13th grandkid for my parents... this niece (or nephew) will be born amongst Camille and my (possible) grandkids... very strange... but exciting as well. My sister is only 5 years younger then me, so this is very strange to think about indeed.

This morning I went down to work to pick up one of my meds that I left sitting on my desk and then went to Target to wander around. Found “The Day After Tomorrow” had come out on DVD and picked a copy up. Ran into Camille and family there and they said they were all going to the movies. We visited a little and then went our separate ways. I drove over to BK and got a burger and took my meds. Ended up eating only about ½ of the burger, and then thought a movie sounded good. Drove over to Tinseltown and disappeared into the darkness of the theatre. I saw “Shark Tales” which was really cute. Then wander out of the theatre and bought a ticket to “Shall We Dance?” Back into the theatre I went. I escaped there for almost the entire day. Both were good movies.

I think I am going to change my major emphasis... am quite disappointed with OPTM. I think I am going to doing Management and Technology Management and I think Dan (in the same spot) is thinking about Finance and Technology Management. So I will probably take vonBreton and Warrick in the spring... and will see if Dan still wants to hold Finance off until summer... looks like it could very possibly be another 3 class semester for me.

I’m very restless today. I have been so restless all month. Autumn, I love autumn. I imagine it’ll be my favorite season for all of my life. I love watching the leaves change and a world of a thousand shades of green morph into a vista of color. Memories are strongest in the fall. Perhaps it is because I fell in love the first time in my life in October. October, twenty-six years ago… oh my God, can it really be that long ago? Dear God, he was everything I’d hope and dreamed for in my very young life. Every heartbreaking moment of high school evaporated in an instant. THIS, this had made all that teen angst worth it. I was happy. In the scope of life, it was only briefly. In the spring of 1981 he found himself another girl friend. Unfortunately, he neglected to break up with me first. When I confronted him he was terribly torn, unwilling to give either of us up. Not something I could tolerate. That spring day so many years ago, I suggested we step back and figure out what we wanted. He never spoke to me again, and I mean NEVER. As far as closure goes, it totally sucked. But, autumn? Ah, all the promise of love, happiness and happily ever after is still possible. It literally bursts with hope. I can almost taste that happiness, though it remains elusive.

I couldn’t be more happy and excited for my sister. Babies are so wonderful, as are kids. Though it does remind me how alone I am, my kids nearly all grown, approaching the end of my life and she still seems poised at the beginning of hers. Five years… what a difference.

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