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October 28, 2008 - Tuesday, 11:28 a.m.

Life... so they say...

Scott went to work again today, but his foot is really hurting. Yesterday was hard on it. I told him to go home early if he needed to. It just isn�t worth messing up his foot for a couple days of pay.

We have a 'company wide' meeting on Friday. I guess they are going to let us know about the sale (whether or not it is going to happen). I guess last week while I was out they had a company wide meeting where they explained what would happen IF we were to sell. (Severance packages, etc for anyone that was 'let go'). I don't know what I want to have happen any more.

I just know I wish I had enough energy to work two jobs, because I may need to do just that here before I know it. It seems like my MBA was a waste of time and money. I'll be paying the student loans until I am 75. I don't think it was worth it for the extra few thousand a year I got as a raise. It wasn't even enough to pay the student loan payments.

Did I mention that a co-worker had a heart attack just over a week ago? He is back tentatively today to see how it goes. They put a couple stints in his heart. I am sure he is thinking long and hard about whether or not he wants to still be working here. He told me that if he isn�t feeling well or starts to get stressed he�s going home. It just isn�t worth his health. I TOTALLY agree.

Yesterday Scott and Alex had a long talk after school. Not sure what all about... But there were a couple comments about me... One being that I was going into his school and telling them I'm his mom, which I didn't do, of course. All the record we have submitted to the school clearly lists me as step-mom. I guess his mom went in last week and when asked who she was she said she was Alex's mom and the office people didn't agree. They've seen more of me I guess (like when I drop him off). And he's telling his dad that I am 'bringing up' his issues with his mom by doing things that his mom does. Seeing as Scott sees me as completely different from his ex, this was pretty much a slap in my face. (I guess I should be happy that Scott doesn't put any credence in Alex's comments and sees them as manipulation, but still...)
Last night I was lying in bed thinking... Well... I can clean house, I'm good for that. I might not be good for much, but I can do that. So I got up and cleaned. I also did a little job searching in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep, but didn't see anything. I didn't get back into bed and asleep until about 3:30 am, and slept about 2 hours.

I am working on a particularly ugly package design today, and would wish to be anywhere but here. I still have a hangover of depression from my lack of sleep last night. I wish it would fade faster. It probably doesn�t help that I am tired.

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