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October 18, 2006 - Wednesday, 3:46 p.m.

The intermittent electrical problem we�ve been having, where we lose power when it is really windy? Well, it became a permanent problem yesterday afternoon. Half the power in our house is out now. This includes my bedroom and the living room in their entirety. It was �hit and miss� around the rest of the house. Justin and Moon had some wall outlets out, the kitchen had lights, but the refrigerator and stove didn�t have power. The garage had power, but the furnace didn�t. So it was a little chilly in the house, but manageable. Hopefully we�ll get the power issue fixed today. However, with this heavy snow fall, there were a lot of power outages in the Springs, and at least we have enough power to get by. (We plugged the refrigerator in across the room with an extension cord and the stove can be used with a match to light the gas burners.)

Other then the weather, which I enjoyed, yesterday wasn�t a very good day. The boys called me to tell me that the damage done to my car when Curtis hit a curb on Saturday evening, was more then just a new wheel, tire and alignment, but that the control arm and various and assorted other things had been bent and mangled to the tune of about $1300 (and that was just what they could see). GAH!! It put the icing on the cake of my depression for that day. I got home about 4:15, crawled into bed, cried a little and went to sleep. It�s funny. I wasn�t angry about it at all. Accidents happen, and I know he did mean to do the damage. It was just an intense feeling of resignation. It seems that is the top feeling in my emotional array at the moment. I am resigning myself to the lack of money to do things. The car was just one more thing in the pile, just one more thing to do without. My car has joined the graveyard of broken cars at our house, though they had to leave it at Sears last night, due to the weather. We are going to tow the Honda in and figure out what it�ll take to fix IT, in case it is less then fixing the Saturn. The biggest bummer is that I still have at least two years of payments left on the Saturn.

I�m trying very hard not to spend any money at all if possible. I can do with out movies and such. I�ve spent a little on groceries and I also picked up my medication for my blood pressure. But otherwise, I am being really frugal. I have accepted that I got myself into the financial mess I am in, and that it is going to hurt a little getting out of it, but I am progressing in the right direction. It�s going to be a tough few years, but hopefully it�ll get better. A real increase in my income would help immensely, but it isn�t going to happen here and finding something new is going very slow.

I am ready to call it a day.

Later� M.