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May 19, 2006 - Friday, 9:25 a.m.

Graduation Day

Today I graduate. It still isn't sinking in. Or perhaps it is. I'm not excited about it like I should be. Part of it is the fear that it won't make any difference in my career. I suppose that is just pessimism speaking, but I can�t shake it. Instead I need to be thinking about how this has helped me personally. It is something that I completed. After over 15 years of working towards a master�s degree I have finally succeeded. I am proud of myself for putting myself to task, for putting down my head and getting this done. Another part of it is that as I look back it doesn�t seem like it was that hard. I am not recalling the hours I put towards making this happen, but I think about the fact that I continued to make time for everything else in my life (for the most part). I know that to some extent I am dismissing my efforts. Not good. I need to stop doing that to myself.

This IS an accomplishment, and it DID take time and effort. I gave up time and really did focus on getting this done. It�s okay to be proud of the accomplishment, but I can tell that I will never carry it like a badge of honor. It�s something that I did, and now I need to use it. :o)

I took today off from work. It�s beautiful out. Clear blue sky, with the temperature in 70�s already.

I let my bills slip a little this month, most of them will be late and a large part of the payments processed today. I had the money but I just didn�t get it done. For the most part we don�t answer our land-line. If I don�t know who is calling I don�t answer it. We get so many telemarketing calls. So, my accounts have started to call me at work. I don�t mind talking to bill collectors; I just HATE talking to telemarketers. I am sure they are terribly surprised when they finally reach me. I am polite and helpful. I am relaxed and end the conversation with telling them to have a good day. At least one of the guys was a little flustered. :o) I am sure they expect I�ll be angry and rude seeing as I am so hard to get a hold of.

I was talking to a friend at work (Elizabeth) and she asked me how the job looking was going. I said okay, but that I hadn�t really started a focused effort. I alluded to the idea that I might let the summer go by and look seriously in the fall. She was very firm. She says I need to look RIGHT now, and that now isn�t the time to rest on my laurels. Of course, she is right. It is good to have friends push you now and then. I am sure she�ll keep me on task. :o)

I continue to entertain the thought of working towards a PhD. I don�t know that I will, and if I did it would be just for me. I am pretty sure (unless I wanted to become a college professor) that it wouldn�t be something I�d advertise as I looked for a job. I am pretty sure a PhD ends up making you OVER qualified for a number of jobs, so they don�t call you. If I do it, it�ll be completely for ME. I really do like that thought. I know that I need to have a strong premise for a dissertation, if I want to do that, so I�ll read here for a while and see if something specific hits me.

I think I�ll wander out and do a little shopping this morning and then come home and take a shower. I have 4 hours until I need to be at the world arena. Moon has to work today, so she won�t be there. I am not sure if Justin will come (he works tonight and will be sleeping today). They�ll both be at my party on Sunday, so that is good. My parents, Philip, Curtis, Lee & Gaby, Deneen and Elizabeth will be there today. That�ll be nice. I don�t know if anyone else is coming, but that is probably enough. Graduations tend to be a little boring, it is just about acknowledgement of the accomplishment that leads people to attend.

I got one card in the mail for my graduation from my Aunt Peggy. It was really nice of her to send something. My group at work gave me a diploma frame (with the school name and seal on the matte board). It was a perfect gift for the group to give me. It was Elizabeth�s idea and she got all the men I work with in a row to participate. It was so nice of her to take the initiative to make that happen.

Well� time to get dressed and going. I�ll have pictures.

Later�. M.

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