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May 09, 2005 - Monday, 10:36 p.m.

Another Passing...

My dad�s sister passed away last night. A couple days ago she woke up and said, �Why am I still here? What am I waiting for?� Her children told her she was waiting for her grandson to arrive. I guess he got there yesterday and they had a nice visit, and she passed away quietly. It was pretty quick. They just diagnosed her with colon cancer a few weeks ago. It had spread to her liver and she said she was ready to go. My dad and my sister went over to visit her the day before Grandma�s funeral. My dad said she was more positive and upbeat then he or her family had seen her in years. Good to be at peace with yourself.

It�s been a little tougher on my dad then he expected. He told my mother he was surprised to find himself crying. He�d not expected it. Lois was about 13 or 14 years older then my dad. She remembers when he was born. She told us that Grandma told her to go to the post office and write penny post cards to all Grandma�s sisters and the rest of the family that they�d had a baby boy and that they�d named him Donald. Now, Lois said that when she got there and was filling out the postcards she decided to give him a middle name. She didn�t remember if it was a boy that she liked or what, but she wrote Donald Eugene on each postcard and that ended up being his name.

Lois was married and started having kids when my dad was a young boy. Her kids were closer to being cousins to my dad, then nieces and nephews. As a teenager he lived and worked on Lois� farm during the summers. She was like another Mom for him. By the time I can remember Lois, she already seemed old to me. I am sure she was only in her 50�s at the most, but she reminded me so much of my grandma. They both had that voice. I can�t describe it. It was very unique and I can hear it in my mind, kinda high, and kinda raspy.

::sigh:: I miss my Grandma B. My dad�s mother was a softer grandma. She knit, crocheted, embroidered and did crosswords. We got our love for Scrabble from her. She played it for hours and hours with my mother. We couldn�t wait to get �old enough� to play. We were never allowed to play with them and had to watch quietly or leave. She often stayed with us for a month at a time. She had time to listen to us and she read a lot. Grandma S., my mother�s mother, who just passed away, was a Grandma on the go, always something to get done. She didn�t have much time to �lolly-gag� around.

Lois was interested in genealogy and I shared much information with her as I researched my family through my teen years and to the present. She�s the first of my dad�s siblings to pass away. I am sure that is another reason he is feeling it. It�s getting a little close and makes one think about one�s OWN mortality. I am so NOT ready to lose my own parents. I hope it is a long ways down the road, like when I am old and senile myself!!

This has been a tough couple of weeks. I�ve spent far too much time thinking about MY mortality, and the passage of time. It goes by so fast. ::sigh::

The weekend was gorgeous. I ended up with a house full of kids Saturday. I had 5 of my nieces and nephews over night� both Char�s kids and three of Lynn�s four. They spent the night Friday night. They came home with me after Peggy�s birthday party. Saturday morning we were up by about 8 am. I was out in the yard early, worried about getting rain before I could mow the lawn. But, it was so beautiful. We bagged up all the leaves and garden debris that I�d raked out of the gardens in March and then mowed my few blades of grass. Then two of my nieces and one of my nephews went to Walmart with me. We bought 5 lilac bushes and an assortment of bedding plants. I don�t know WHAT I was thinking. I had 4 people in my Saturn Coupe and had to find space for 5 � 5 gallon plants. :o) We got them all home and mine ALL planted. By about 3 pm I was completely exhausted. Char�s in-laws came by and picked up her two kids and I took the other three to Monument and met Lynn. I came home took a shower and got ready to meet L� she had some clothes shopping to do and then we went to dinner. We were going to go to a movie, but passed, made a quick stop at Walmart and went our separate ways. I was up by about 9 on Sunday and then cleaned house as everyone was coming to MY house for Mother�s Day.

It was a wonderful mother�s day. Each of my boys got me flowers independently and I got a bouquet from my Aunt and a bouquet from Lynn for taking her kids. I am pretty sure that is the most flowers I have ever gotten at one time. Justin and Moon also got me a memory card for my camera AND a gift card from Media Play!! Wow!! It was a really good Mother�s Day. It�s nice to feel loved and appreciated, and I did. I am a lucky Mom to have such great kids, including my daughter-in-law. I love them all so very much.

I am tired tonight and really not in a mood to focus on school. I�ll have to do homework tomorrow night and then again Sunday and Monday to be ready for the final on Monday. But for right now, for this moment, I am tired and am going to get some sleep.

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