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April 27, 2005 - Wednesday, 9:55 p.m.
I've got the window open in my room. The wind is blowing softly, it smells like rain. I like it. It's cool outside.
Philip and I visited in the car while he drove from Spearfish, South Dakota to Lusk, Wyoming. I read him what I'd written so far for my posting earlier today, and we talked about funerals. I recounted all the funerals I'd been to. I told him that I had a real problem with not staying while they put the coffin in the ground and covered it with dirt. It must provide closure for me. It bothered me not to stay. I told him that when it is my parents I will stay. I won't be able to leave and the guys at the cemetary are just going to have to do their job with me watching if we don't do it ourselves. Which is a possibility. I know it isn't the tradition, but I know I need it.
It was very hard for me to leave the cemetary on Monday. It seems quite morbid. I can't stop thinking about it all. Perhaps it is part of the reason I am so tired. Though it could be a number of other things... including anemia. Still not sure that is under control.
I watched 'Under the Tuscan Sun' today. I like the movie. More then I thought I would. Lynn bought it on the trip and we watched it in the car when Philip drove going up to North Dakota. Lynn thought it was okay and gladly gave me the DVD. I watched it this evening and now Moon is watching it with me.
I need to go to work tomorrow. It seems odd to think about getting back in my pattern of life. Life hasn't really changed, but it feels like it. If I had my druthers I'd take the rest of the week off and just relax and pull myself together, however it'll be back to work tomorrow and back to homework tomorrow night. Going to be a busy week!! Everything is due NEXT week. Gah!! Good thing I've nothing on my agenda for the weekend other then school!!
Curtis is back at his Dad's tonight. It's just Moon and I here.. though Justin is home on break right now and they are hanging out together until his break it over. It's quiet in the house. It's nice.
M.
