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December 07, 2004 - Tuesday, 11:14 p.m.

I'm tired tonight. Didn't get enough sleep last night, and this night is ticking by pretty quickly. Am looking forward to making some headway on the projects around the house in the upcoming weeks. The weather is suppose to be wonderful this weekend. Hooray!! Hope my Saturday goes well.

Talked to Mark a little at breakfast and lunch. Really can't figure out any more then I already know until I get a chance to talk to him more. Hoping that Saturday will be relaxed enough that we can visit some. So hard to gage how a person is without having some time to talk to them. Has been hard to do that while standing in the cafeteria amidst a dozen people. Feeling much more relaxed about things. Quite strange to realize that as upset as I was Sunday, that I still realize that nothing may come of this other then gaining a friend, and I am okay with that. Just really had wanted the chance to actually look at it. I haven't really even seriously entertained the thought of getting to know someone in a long time. I guess I need to know that I can ACTUALLY do that. Sometimes Mark almost seems too good to be true. He is very soft spoken and seems to greatly value his friendships. I am somewhat intrigued with the whole idea of 'having a passion' for something, like he does for cooking. I so DON'T have that going for me. I'd like to understand how that works for someone. I think Gary has the same thing for cooking. I just don't understand where that comes from in a person. I can't seem to find it in myself, and really would like to be able to.

Visited with Philip in an IM some tonight. It's strange to have him so far away. I am really glad he is enjoying school, but do miss having him around all the time.

It's funny for a little while I've kinda been able to see down the road. I have school mapped out before me for the next year and a half, and then onto a new career at some point. However at this moment in time it's like a fog has settled in the woods. Not completely sure where anything is going any more. Kinda just mapped out this whole school/career scenario in my mind and now other possibilities are sneaking in. Not sure what I think of that. It's kind of nice not to have any idea what's ahead. Keeps life interesting.

M.