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August 13, 2004 - Friday, 10:01 p.m.

I�ve been thinking about Animal Spirit Guides this week. I don�t know why I�ve been thinking about it but I have. I have recollections from my youth of walking in the woods and always wishing to walk silently without making a noise. Not stirring a leaf or breaking a twig. I wore moccasins as often as possible and always when I was alone walking through the trees I�d imagine I was a deer, silently moving, hidden from sight, graceful, beautiful. Interesting� Anyway, I�ve always associated the deer as my �spirit guide� or totem. Today I decided to look it up to see what information was out there on the deer. Surprisingly enough it matches me pretty good.

From THIS site I found this:

Deer - The deer is gentle and strong. She can leap gracefully and quickly up the mountainside but more often she prefers to graze on the tender shoots and grasses. She teaches us to be gentle with ourselves and to honor our heart.

In the South American Huichol tradition, the deer spirit leads the shaman through the "doorway of the heart" and gives him information on how to live in balance. Allow the deer to show you a gentler and more peaceful way to live; she will help open your heart.

And then from THIS site:

You are graceful, gentle, loving and generally attuned to the more peaceful aspects of nature. You have the power of enchantment and at any age can still enthrall both young and old. You are usually admired, loved, and treasured by all that know you.

Before your transformation you lived as an innocent, having no concept of the true tumult found in the world. You have suffered in love, and have been wounded so severely that you thought you would die. You are an innocent that was betrayed and your only recourse of survival was to retreat into nature. Retreat into that garden "where the lion would lay down with the sheep." At some point you decided you would not let anyone discount or destroy your love. You took your stand when you realized that you could live, be whole and continue to care and love from the peaceful wilds of your own soul.

Many consider your kindness as stupidity, your respect and your love delusive and misguided. Often the deer spirit denotes that you are so gifted, that no serious effort was spent to cultivate them.

I found it all very interesting, and definitely could see myself in this information� interesting thoughts for an idle mind.

This week slipped by quickly. It was a busy week at work and I stayed at work until after 5 every day, except today. I had a massage tonight. I�ve gotten massages off and on for the last 10 years or so. Most of the time I felt pretty worked over when I got done. This guy, however, I just feel totally relaxed when he gets done. It�s really very nice.

I am terribly tired. I really should just go to sleep.

M.