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October 28, 2008 - Tuesday, 11:28 a.m.

Life... so they say...

Scott went to work again today, but his foot is really hurting. Yesterday was hard on it. I told him to go home early if he needed to. It just isnít worth messing up his foot for a couple days of pay.

We have a 'company wide' meeting on Friday. I guess they are going to let us know about the sale (whether or not it is going to happen). I guess last week while I was out they had a company wide meeting where they explained what would happen IF we were to sell. (Severance packages, etc for anyone that was 'let go'). I don't know what I want to have happen any more.

I just know I wish I had enough energy to work two jobs, because I may need to do just that here before I know it. It seems like my MBA was a waste of time and money. I'll be paying the student loans until I am 75. I don't think it was worth it for the extra few thousand a year I got as a raise. It wasn't even enough to pay the student loan payments.

Did I mention that a co-worker had a heart attack just over a week ago? He is back tentatively today to see how it goes. They put a couple stints in his heart. I am sure he is thinking long and hard about whether or not he wants to still be working here. He told me that if he isnít feeling well or starts to get stressed heís going home. It just isnít worth his health. I TOTALLY agree.

Yesterday Scott and Alex had a long talk after school. Not sure what all about... But there were a couple comments about me... One being that I was going into his school and telling them I'm his mom, which I didn't do, of course. All the record we have submitted to the school clearly lists me as step-mom. I guess his mom went in last week and when asked who she was she said she was Alex's mom and the office people didn't agree. They've seen more of me I guess (like when I drop him off). And he's telling his dad that I am 'bringing up' his issues with his mom by doing things that his mom does. Seeing as Scott sees me as completely different from his ex, this was pretty much a slap in my face. (I guess I should be happy that Scott doesn't put any credence in Alex's comments and sees them as manipulation, but still...)
Last night I was lying in bed thinking... Well... I can clean house, I'm good for that. I might not be good for much, but I can do that. So I got up and cleaned. I also did a little job searching in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep, but didn't see anything. I didn't get back into bed and asleep until about 3:30 am, and slept about 2 hours.

I am working on a particularly ugly package design today, and would wish to be anywhere but here. I still have a hangover of depression from my lack of sleep last night. I wish it would fade faster. It probably doesnít help that I am tired.

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