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July 09, 2007 - Monday, 1:12 a.m.

Happy, Peaceful and Calm...

It's late Sunday night. I made it through most of the day without getting out of my PJ's or leaving the house. It was a nice lazy day.

Tonight I went to the 10 pm showing of "Transformers". It was a good flick, I thought. At least I enjoyed it. I'd go see it again.

It was a quiet weekend; a party on Friday night at my parents and then a graduation party for my sister and my nephew. It was a nice evening. Saturday noon we had the early July birthday party at Fargo's. It was good to see Lynn. It sounds like that had a great time on Pilgrimage in Israel.

S* should be in the middle of his fishing trip. I am hoping that he is having good weather and an awesome time.

I am feeling much better then I was last time I wrote; a definite bout with my insecurities. But it passed. Mentally, I've backed off some. Truly, like I said before, he needs to set the pace and I am content with the pace. Whatever pace it might be.

What I do know is that he makes me smile. I think that is about the most striking thing to me. When I think of him or recall the often present twinkle in his eye, it just makes me smile. He makes me happy just being around. So, I am most content with that and whatever happens down the road, I'll be okay and always remember the happiness.

I am focusing on the things that I want to do, and trying to proceed with that. I joined SCA last week. I am going to focus on the artsy-craftsy side of it. The making of the clothing, working on a persona and just enjoying the socialness of it, even if S* isn't around. I plan to go to Baron's War, which is the end of July. I'll do the camping thing as long as I have someone to camp with. It may be S* and his kids, or it might be Sheri. It might be both or neither. But either way I'm going to go, even if just for the days. I figure I'll get a better idea of what it's about if I go to some of the events.

I am feeling good, and in the first time in longer then I can remember, I just feel happy at my core. Even with all the stress of trying to get everything done for Summer School which starts on Tuesday!! I'm the main cook for the week and will do the menu planning and shopping. I'll be glad to be done with that. It's a lot of work between now and Sunday. Still, there is a peace and calm inside of me. It's nice.

Sweet dreams.


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