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June 03, 2006 - Saturday, 12:10 a.m.

This is no time to panic...

Don't panic... take a deep breath... breathe. Okay, so there is no refinance of the house now. My debt to income ratio is too high. Well... duh! I knew that. If you take your income and subtract your bills and come up with a negative number, that's an issue. I definitely need to sit down, figure out my bills and see how much they are monthly. I need to know what the deficit is, so I can figure out how Iíll come up with the difference. These are the sorts of things heart attacks are composed of. Iíve decided that rather then trying to find a second job, I am just going to work overtime at my current job until they tell me to stop. I have plenty of work, so that isnít an issue.

I have the crushed rock for either side of the driveway being delivered tomorrow noon. I still will need to get the rock for the front boulevard and then perhaps Iíll spade up the yard and put down seed with hoses for watering and skip the sod and sprinkler system this year. That would be more practical. Iím done buying plants for the summer and will need to cut out all the extras. Iíll need to limit my eating out. I have plenty of everything other then that.

Gas is approaching three dollars a gallon. I remember that I was appalled when gas prices approached $1 a gallon when I first started driving. I thought long before $3 a gallon Iíd shift to an alternative mode of transportation.

Itís too warm tonight. Itís nearly midnight and the temps are still in the 70ís. Ugh!! It seems to be still outside as well. A little breeze now would be nice. I am hot and I have a bad headache again tonight. I am on that high salt diet again for lab work for the endocrinologist. My BP is staying fine, which is good. It also means these headaches are coming from somewhere else.

This evening I met Lynn over at Zioís for dinner. It was how I got Ethan back to his mom so he could go home with her. Ethan did great here. It was fun to have him around. I remember when I was in my early teens. Whenever I was staying at the farm weíd go into Minot to visit Beverly and my cousins. I recall that it was a big deal to get to stay there over night (at least to me it was). Being the oldest in my family, it was nice to hang out with people older then me. It seemed like their lives were busier and more exciting. It seems that grandma would rarely let me stay; I think she felt it was an imposition for me to stay there, and I remember how badly I wanted to stay. To me, if the kids want to come to my house, I say yes. I know how it feels to be told no. Most of all of my nieces and nephewís do great when they are here. It ends up that they are rarely a problem. Our house is full of activity, people coming and going at all hours. Iím sure it seems like there is a lot going on here and it probably seems exciting. I like having my nieces and nephews around. It gives me a chance to get to know them better.

My new stove got installed yesterday. It looks great!! I havenít used it yet, but I am very happy with it. It was a great gift!!

I need sleep. I was up too late last night and then didnít sleep in much this morning.


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