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May 19, 2006 - Friday, 9:25 a.m.

Graduation Day

Today I graduate. It still isn't sinking in. Or perhaps it is. I'm not excited about it like I should be. Part of it is the fear that it won't make any difference in my career. I suppose that is just pessimism speaking, but I canít shake it. Instead I need to be thinking about how this has helped me personally. It is something that I completed. After over 15 years of working towards a masterís degree I have finally succeeded. I am proud of myself for putting myself to task, for putting down my head and getting this done. Another part of it is that as I look back it doesnít seem like it was that hard. I am not recalling the hours I put towards making this happen, but I think about the fact that I continued to make time for everything else in my life (for the most part). I know that to some extent I am dismissing my efforts. Not good. I need to stop doing that to myself.

This IS an accomplishment, and it DID take time and effort. I gave up time and really did focus on getting this done. Itís okay to be proud of the accomplishment, but I can tell that I will never carry it like a badge of honor. Itís something that I did, and now I need to use it. :o)

I took today off from work. Itís beautiful out. Clear blue sky, with the temperature in 70ís already.

I let my bills slip a little this month, most of them will be late and a large part of the payments processed today. I had the money but I just didnít get it done. For the most part we donít answer our land-line. If I donít know who is calling I donít answer it. We get so many telemarketing calls. So, my accounts have started to call me at work. I donít mind talking to bill collectors; I just HATE talking to telemarketers. I am sure they are terribly surprised when they finally reach me. I am polite and helpful. I am relaxed and end the conversation with telling them to have a good day. At least one of the guys was a little flustered. :o) I am sure they expect Iíll be angry and rude seeing as I am so hard to get a hold of.

I was talking to a friend at work (Elizabeth) and she asked me how the job looking was going. I said okay, but that I hadnít really started a focused effort. I alluded to the idea that I might let the summer go by and look seriously in the fall. She was very firm. She says I need to look RIGHT now, and that now isnít the time to rest on my laurels. Of course, she is right. It is good to have friends push you now and then. I am sure sheíll keep me on task. :o)

I continue to entertain the thought of working towards a PhD. I donít know that I will, and if I did it would be just for me. I am pretty sure (unless I wanted to become a college professor) that it wouldnít be something Iíd advertise as I looked for a job. I am pretty sure a PhD ends up making you OVER qualified for a number of jobs, so they donít call you. If I do it, itíll be completely for ME. I really do like that thought. I know that I need to have a strong premise for a dissertation, if I want to do that, so Iíll read here for a while and see if something specific hits me.

I think Iíll wander out and do a little shopping this morning and then come home and take a shower. I have 4 hours until I need to be at the world arena. Moon has to work today, so she wonít be there. I am not sure if Justin will come (he works tonight and will be sleeping today). Theyíll both be at my party on Sunday, so that is good. My parents, Philip, Curtis, Lee & Gaby, Deneen and Elizabeth will be there today. Thatíll be nice. I donít know if anyone else is coming, but that is probably enough. Graduations tend to be a little boring, it is just about acknowledgement of the accomplishment that leads people to attend.

I got one card in the mail for my graduation from my Aunt Peggy. It was really nice of her to send something. My group at work gave me a diploma frame (with the school name and seal on the matte board). It was a perfect gift for the group to give me. It was Elizabethís idea and she got all the men I work with in a row to participate. It was so nice of her to take the initiative to make that happen.

WellÖ time to get dressed and going. Iíll have pictures.

LaterÖ. M.

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