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May 11, 2006 - Thursday, 11:19 p.m.

May...Bee...

Tuesday – School is done. The last paper, the last presentation is over. It still doesn't feel real. Someone asked me if I was excited, but really I don't seem to have any feelings on it at all. I know that means it just hasn't sunk in yet. I slept in this morning. I couldn't seem to get myself out of bed. I am going to work in the yard tonight when I get home, I think.

I've started to really think about finding a job. That is a stress of its own. The thought of a new job is a little overwhelming and that isn't even with the thought of moving attached to it. I have applied for that job in North Carolina. It's the first time I've ever seen a posting for a Packaging Engineer in the last years that I have look for a new job on and off. Even though I wasn't really ready to think about moving away, I could not pass up applying for a job that met my current job description. I don't know as they would ever offer it to me, but I would think they would at least want to talk to me. We'll see.

I need to stop by Target on my way home tonight. I really need to get my school stuff put away. I need to save it all as Camille is thinking about going on and getting her MBA right behind her BA. I want to get the books put away on a shelf so I can think about starting to read some of those that I've picked up over the last couple of years. I really need to think about reading the Wall Street Journal everyday too. If anything I'll get an online subscription, so much less paper to deal with, and accessible anywhere.

Does it seem to you that I am filling up the time and space? Sometime it seems that way to me. It seems I always have a list of things I just HAVE to get done. I am going to focus some energy on getting my house and yard in order. If I take a job out of state I need to have the house in a place where I can walk away from it and leave the boys there. I can't bear to think about parting with it yet. I have visions of retiring here.

Thursday – This week has slipped by pretty fast. Work has been really busy. So much to do, so little time. Tonight D and I went and saw “Mission Impossible 3” and then to dinner at Chili’s. The movie was good. Really action packed. I really do enjoy Tom Cruise’s movies, though he doesn’t impress me much as a person.

On my way home I stopped by Wal-Mart, to pick up kitty litter. After I had put my stuff in the trunk a gentleman came up to me and asked if he could wash my windows for a little money. He was very quiet and it was hard for me to hear him. I asked him to repeat it and stepped closer to him so I could hear him. After he repeated it, I offered him some money and said he didn’t have to bother about the window. He told me that he had his stuff with him (it was like a cooler with a shoulder strap with liquid in it and a squeegee.) and that it wouldn’t take long and that he would do a good job. So, I waited while he washed my front window. I thanked him. And he said God Bless you. I told him to have a nice night. I realized that it was the right thing to let him wash the window. There is some dignity in that. Its better then pan-handling, I suppose. At least you’d certainly feel better about asking for money, if you were doing something in return. It is one of those things that just pulls at my heart. I wonder how he got to this place in his life. It could be just ‘running away’ or it could be something at the end of a long chain for events. He seemed gentle and sad. Sometimes I don’t like to give money to people that come up to me on the street, though I find I am more likely to give them something as I’ve gotten older. I try to look them in the eye and be kind. Everybody is somebody’s baby.

Philip just headed out to hang out with his friends. It’s one of the guys’ birthday. He can be designated driver (which he does often as he doesn’t drink). Curtis headed over to Kyle’s house to hang out with him. It’s quiet here tonight.

I am tired, but don’t really feel like going to bed. I probably should as it has been a long week and I haven’t gotten much sleep this week.

I sat and visited with Moon for a while. It was nice to visit with her. I think I'll watch a little tv and go to sleep.

Sweet dreams. M.

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