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April 17, 2006 - Monday, 7:18 p.m.


I have school tonight and I can't seem to get myself out of this chair. I am so ready to be done with school. Work has been crazy busy and I can hardly think when I get home. The yard calls to me all day long. It's beautiful... like summer. It's 71 degrees right now and I just came in from working in the yard.

I really didn't work much in the yard, but it was really nice. I still have my project to complete. The information is floating around in my head and I need to just sit down, concentrate and get it done. I'll turn it in next Monday. Then just the final after that.

I sent out my graduation announcements yesterday. Spent most of the morning working on that and getting envelopes and invites to a graduation party printed out and included.

What little traffic I had on my site has dried up. This month so far has only seen a couple of page views. Ah well.

For the most part what I have to write about isn't terribly interesting. But it's a place for me to just think and get things off my plate.

Every day I think I am going to go talk to Rod about my project. His 'announcement' lingers out there and my plate is so full at work that I never seem to get over to see him. I am tired and a vacation really sounds lovely, though not likely. I know that I need to start looking for a job. This whole graduating thing doesn't feel real. I can't see the path ahead of me and I don't know where I want to go. I'm 46 years old and I don't feel much different then I did when I was 22 and trying to figure out what to do with my life.

Taking the whole 'marriage' option off the list leaves me without much focus. Most of the things that sound really nice to think about doing requires that I not have to worry about finances. However, my reality is that I HAVE to worry about it. My soul or spirit just wants to stay here in my house and at my job where I know everything and everyone. It is my comfort zone... and yet with my current job I'll have to work until I die and I'll still owe money on my house. I am getting ever closer to a time when my house will lose it's activity level. I really do like having all the coming and going of people. It's going to be so very quiet and lonely when everyone leaves.

I've not heard anything on Kathy's husband lately, other then that he is still running a fever and that his very well healed incision in his head seems to be infected. I can not imagine standing in her shoes. It makes me sad to think about it. As ill as he is he must be waiting for Kathy to be ready to let him go, I can think of no other reason he is still here. He isn't very conscious most of the time and can't speak or communicate.

There was a fire today somewhere south of town... around Fountain I believe. There was a good haze to the east and north. The wind is blowing and the chimes are ringing outside my window.

I went to lunch today with K & D. It was a friend of D's birthday. One of the managers in the planning group joined us. We went to the Broadmoor today a restuarant called the Tavern. We sat out in an atrium and had lunch. It was beautiful and relaxing and the food was good. After lunch we went up a floor and out onto a patio by the lake. The hotel is absolutely beautiful... fresco painted on the ceilings, beautifully arrange flowers in the hallways. I've lived here for 31 years and I've never been in the Broadmoor before. Most of the group was very comfortable in the environment. Though I enjoyed the beauty and elegance, I didn't feel like I fit in to it. I can not imagine having the kind of money it would take to stay in a place like that.

Class started 5 minutes ago... I'm still sitting here. I think I am going to take a hot bath, try to unwind and think about my project. Post Script: Ah... looks like I broke my stats counter. Fixed it today. :o)

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