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January 12, 2006 - Thursday, 12:09 a.m.


At a very young age, it came to me that my life test would be patience. I could see that I was going to continuously be ‘tested’ on this single virtue. It is my thought that all people have tests in their lives that help them to grow. It became obvious to me that I was going to get a chance at working on every shade of patience. I’d get a test, get through it, learn something, and then the next time it would be slightly different, but for the most part I could always tie it back to patience.

So, in my life, I’ve developed a lot of patience, and in some situations seem to have almost unlimited patience. Still, I struggle with patience. It seems to me that I am never patient with things I want to have happen. How is it that it can be that way? The whole world seems to think I am so patient, and I often catch myself dealing with things that make other people exceedingly frustrated and yet I have no problem waiting or dealing with it. And yet, I feel that often I am impatient, especially with myself.

Monday, on my way home from work, I stopped at the grocery store to put in my prescriptions that I got from the doctor. I got a shopping cart, and headed to the pharmacy. There was a short line of people, waiting to drop off orders. There was one lady at the counter and another standing in line. Just as I walked up, the lady waiting in line, let out a great sigh and suggested to the person she was with that they come back later. I moved to the front of the line. However, it quickly became apparent why the one woman had left, the lady at the counter was not happy. Some issues with her insurance paying, and she seemed to go over in again and again with the pharmacist. She was obviously unhappy, and was talking in that voice that is meant to include everyone standing around you in your frustration. I stood in line and waited… and waited. Now, for some reason, this is one of those things that I seem to rarely have a problem patiently waiting to unfold. I can’t seem to get mad at the person that is so frustrated and needs to vent, nor can I get mad at the person dealing with them, for they are trying to listen and be kind. So, I just stand there, not getting mad or frustrated and wait.

Finally, the woman finishes talking to the pharmacist. She’s even taken the time to let me know that she is very unhappy with all Republicans and can hardly wait for elections to come again. She moves off and I step up to the counter. I smile at the pharmacist and give him my prescription. He says, “You are very patient.” For some reason I responded with ‘Yes, I am,” rather then, “Thank you.”

It dawned on me that I am patient like that in all sorts of situations, especially when waiting to do something most anywhere. Just earlier that same day, I stood at the window at the doctors office waiting to make an appointment, while the lady that was going to help me, was trying to verify with another patient where her lab work was going to be done, and there was an pretty good language problem. She apologized for the long wait once she got to me; I told her it wasn’t a problem, and I meant it. Actually, this has happened a number of times recently.

When did this patience show up? I don’t recall when it was that I stopped having problems waiting in lines, or for people to finish what they are doing so they can talk to me. I am sure it was gradual, but it seems sudden this week.

I’m tired tonight. I’ve already crawled into bed, but I’m not falling asleep very quickly. Of course, I am sitting here with the lap top and typing. I’m sure that isn’t helping. :o)

Today was a terribly busy day. I have again one of those projects that requires that I do a lot of work in Excel. I have had to sort and re-sort columns to catch my mistakes. It has required that I match up 4 separate lists of data, that have to correspond correctly so that testing can be done on the device when it is all done. We are trying to create something to save $10-20K, that requires us using some existing test boards. It wasn’t made for this project, and I need to make sure I line everything up so that the same test boards can be used for this new project. I have to make sure that every piece is set up to be manufacturable. Gah!! It’s hard to explain. If I actually just wrote it, I’d sound just like Charlie Brown’s teacher. :o) Totally incomprehensible to everyone except the handful of people that do this sort of work.

It’s funny. Today, a marketing guy came over to our department to ask some questions about electrical grounding of a device to answer a customer question. I assured him that the project didn’t have the area in questioned grounded internally, but that it could easily be ground externally on the customers’ circuit board. I explained how this ‘circuit’ of grounds would be made a couple of times, and then he headed off. I went back to that project I just mentioned, but as I sat there I could hear the other two guys in my group that had stood there as I explained it, go over it again and again back in their cube. I guess the picture wasn’t coming into their mind.

Curtis and Philip are fighting…. Ah… arguing… or as they say ‘talking’. Curtis always seems to push Philip until he’s about pushed him over the edge. What is it about that guy that makes him do that? If you ask him to do something, or more specifically, if Philip asks him to do something, he draws it out until Philip is about ready to throttle him, and then he acts all surprised that Philip is mad. This kid that the worst concept of time in the world. Everything is always ‘In a minute,’ and his minutes are always around an hour!! “Curt, could you clean you room?” “In a minute.” Hours go by. “Curtis?? Your room?” “I will… in just a minute.” “Go to bed.” “Get off the computer.” Never has that boy just done it now… it makes me crazy!! I’m sure somehow I am to blame. I should have figured out how to throttle him the first time a minute wasn’t actually a minute. But I missed it, and every now and then Philip ends up throttling him, but it doesn’t change his reckoning of time at all!!

Argh!! Again… it’s midnight!! Hmmmm… I think I should take my BP… 162/91… it should be better at midnight. Guess I’ll take it again in the morning.

Sweet dreams. M.

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