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August 02, 2005 - Tuesday, 11:59 p.m.

Highs and lows...

This has been a long day. Phil came by this morning and gave me back ďAngels & DemonsĒ. He enjoyed it, said it ended better then he thought it would. He going to start on the books I gave him. He talked a little bit about the heat and then he was gone. It seems Iíve visited a wide spectrum of emotions today. I was in a terrible dark place by mid morning, some time after Phil left. I was weepy at my desk, trying to concentrate on work, to little avail. I went and met L for lunch. We didnít actually get lunch, we just drove around and we got something to drink. I was weepy with tears running down my face for most of my lunch break. Mostly L just talked to me, trying to get me on track and eventually it soaked in some time in late afternoon. I think perhaps I needed to be terribly sad. Iíve had a couple of numb days and just needed to get it out of my system.

::sighs:: The neighbors are arguing again. I hate that I can hear them out my bedroom window, thank goodness I canít actually hear what they are saying. The evening has cooled off some, the wind is blowing and the fan is keeping me cool. I have Harry Potter on again tonightÖ same as last night.

Iíd hoped to go to the gym after work today, but when I pulled into the parking lot at 5:30 pm it was insane, almost no parking to be found and I figured it would be worse inside, so I went home. By the time I got home, my dark mood had lifted. We ate dinner shortly after I walked in. I sat at the table with Philip, Justin and Moon. We just sat at the table and visited after we ate. It was nice. My heart felt much lighter then it had just hours earlier.

After dinner I headed over to Maryís for our study circle. We had a larger group tonight, six rather then four. It was just a really nice evening. After that I was off to the gym and did my 30 minutes of cardio. Gah!! It was hard to do, but then I rewarded myself with some time in the pool and the hot tub. Stopped by Lís on my way home and visited for about half an hour.

Itís hard to believe that I went from such a dark depressed spot at 11 am and by 11 pm I felt pretty light hearted and optimistic. Itís nice to know that Iím not going to stay in that dark place for long any more.

Iíve been thinking about my road time to North Dakota today. I am really looking forward to it. Though itíll be a long drive in the car, itíll be lots of time to think. Itíll probably be good for me. I am tired tonight. It was an exhausting day.

I hope to get into work early tomorrow. The movieís about to where I fell asleep last night, so I think Iíll watch.

Sweet dreamsÖ. M.

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