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July 17, 2005 - Sunday, 5:39 p.m.

Friday I was done with my week by 2:30 and headed home. I went out and pulled weeds along the fence line. It looks better, but so much more to do. I only got a few of the weeds among the many. I decided at about 4 pm that I was going to go get my nails done and a pedicure. On my way home from my appointment Rosie called. Was I interested in going to a movie? Why yes. I got home and lo and behold I had an email from Phil. It made my day. His vacation was winding down and some of the people on the island were preparing for Emily and the rest going on like business as usual. He said it would probably be the last email from him, unless he got stuck there AND there was power. Not too likely. He said that if I don�t hear from him on Tuesday then I�ll know he�s still down there. He said he was looking forward to borrowing the other book and would see me soon. Good news? Bad news? No idea� I just know that it made me feel better to hear from him.

I met at Rosie at 7:30 for the 8 o�clock showing of �Wedding Crashers� at Tinseltown. It was a funny movie. I enjoyed seeing it with her. We went over to Chili�s afterward and shared an appetizer and visited. By 11 or so I headed over to Borders to await my copy of Harry Potter. I found L there, she was busy with her daughter so I sat and read more of �Angels & Demons� which I�d brought with me. By 12:30 am I had my new book in hand and then gave L a ride home as her truck decided NOT to start and she left it in the Borders parking lot.

Home and into bed by 1 am. L and I were supposed to go up to see an overview of a company that I am looking at some part time work with on Saturday morning. (L was interested as well). Anyway� after the late night and car problems she�d told me she wasn�t going. I however, dragged myself out of bed in morning and went up to it. I�d told the lady that I would be there and didn�t want to not be good to my word. The meeting was interesting it looks like a good company, but I need to decide if I am really committed to what it�ll take to do that job. Something MORE to ponder. The TV was on most of the day and evening tuned to the weather channel watching Emily. She�s going to track north of Belize; they�ll get some tropical storms by not the brunt of the hurricane. Thank goodness!!

I got home and started working on cleaning the house. I spent a long time in the kitchen cleaning cupboards and such. I got the laundry going and kept on it. I ran to the store and picked up some cleaning supplies and then went by PetCo to check on buying some fish and � GASP� bought a kitten. He is adorable.

By late afternoon I was tired of the house and went out and mowed the lawn� or more accurately the weeds I like to call my lawn. Then I started watering the yard and sat outside reading on �Angels & Demons�. I very much wanted to finish the book so I could 1) start reading Harry Potter and 2) be ready to loan the book to Phil. I sat outside until it was dark, moving the sprinklers in front and back yards and reading. It was gorgeous out, cloudy, cool and threatening rain; though it never did more then spit a little. I went inside and continued reading until well after midnight. The book was very good. I finished it by about 1:30 am. By then I was totally exhausted and had a headache. The book was really good; however I am having a hard time getting over the exhaustion.

I woke up this morning before 7 am� what the� ?!? I got up closed the curtains and crawled back into bed and slept until about 10 am. However, I haven�t been reading on Harry Potter yet today. Trying to get the house done (cleaning)� I�ve finished my room and will finish up the other rooms on the main floor before I start reading again. This house really needs to get in order. The disorder is driving me to distraction!! Philip and Curt�s rooms HAVE to be done I am going to head into them with the vacuum cleaner to force their hands. I still have a headache. It�s much cooler today� overcast and thinking about at least thunderstorms, though perhaps not any rain. I am just glad it is cooler today.

The kitten is lying on my bed fast asleep. He is so adorable� and so tiny� I guess he was found in a puddle after a rain storm a few weeks ago. They named him Stormy and I am trying to decide if I like that name or not.

I am still feeling adrift somewhat. Thinking a lot about Phil� worried about my finances. Wishing I was more excited about the prospect of this part time job. Still feeling alone and a little sad. ::sighs:: I sat in that meeting on Saturday morning and it was so much about making money. Everyone was there to MAKE MONEY� yes, it is a company that I think really helps people, but most of the people are doing it for the money. I don�t want my life to be about the money. I don�t want it to be the focal point of my life. It isn�t really that important, all I want is to be able to afford to pay my bills and have some ability to get ahead and still have the money to travel a little. I don�t need to make $300,000 a year!! Come on!! ::sighs:: With going back to school and looking for a new job that pays better I feel like my life is about the money and in my heart it isn�t. I have to get out from under the stress of my finances, but I don�t want every day of my life to be about getting ahead. The melancholy isn�t passing. I�m tired, perhaps that is it.

Lying down might help.

Later� M.