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February 07, 2005 - Monday, 9:21 a.m.

Bleak Winter Morning

It’s one of those bleak, foggy winter mornings. The world is blanketed in snow and ice and everything is a soft, gray color. I’d have liked nothing better then to stay in bed, snuggle under the covers and perhaps get up a few hours later, make some hot cocoa, crawl back into bed and spend the day reading or watching a movie. The more I pass by windows, the more it makes me wish I could sit at a window staring at the vista before me, my chin propped on my hand and my mind wandering contemplating life and the road ahead. It’s cold, the roads are icy and I’m glad I managed to get here before 6:30 am.

The weekend drifted by very quickly. Friday night on my way home from work I made some phone calls and set up a trip to the movies. Moon, Megan, Rosie and I went and saw “The Wedding Date”. It was somewhat predictable, but I really enjoyed it. It was a nice evening.

Saturday dawned nice and sunny. I was up early to clean house. Moon and Justin had invited Josh and Amity and Kyle and Maqui over for lunch, so I wanted to do my part. After cleaning up most of the main level common rooms I spent the rest of the morning assisting Moon in any way that I could with what she was cooking. It all tasted wonderful. After lunch I went and laid down with an upset stomach and slept some. Later in the afternoon we headed up to Char’s for the birthday parties. It was a nice evening, good food and great company. We didn’t head home until after 10 pm, and Mariah came with to spend the night. We got home, got ready for bed, put “The Two Towers” into the DVD player, set the TV to turn off in one hour and fell asleep within about 15 minutes. :o)

Up in the morning on Sunday and back to WP for Ruhi. I am really enjoying Ruhi a lot. It is a pretty simple approach and method, but it feels really effective, and just enjoyable. We have been talking about prayer and it’s purpose for the last few weeks. I am enjoying the time with everyone in our group AND the content. It is a great way to spend Sunday mornings. I didn’t get away from WP until almost 2 pm. I took Maureen home and then got home just as the boys were leaving to go to their Dad’s for the Super Bowl. The rest of the afternoon was quiet. I spent some time on the computer playing and did my homework. I was done with everything by 9 pm, but just didn’t fall asleep. I watched about 5 episodes of Voyager until well after midnight.

This morning arrived cold and icy. There were a number of delays in the city and the roads were definitely icy. Somehow I dragged myself out of bed just after 5 am, and was sitting at my desk at work before 6:30 am.

I spent some of my weekend pondering things. Seems like the mind never rests. At some point this weekend it dawned on me that I simply ‘try’ to do things far too often. One of the things that was addressed in these classes I have taken, it NOT using the word ‘try’. To “TRY” to do something is to give yourself a back door out of doing it. You can always say, “But I TRIED,” as an excuse for not doing something. I realized that perhaps I don’t SAY I am going to ‘try’ to do one thing or another, but that my internal intent is to ‘try’. It’s like if the universe aligns then perhaps it’ll get done, so as you can guess a lot doesn’t get done. So many of the things that I think I want to do, are just ‘tries’. ::sighs:: It’s no wonder so much is left undone… everything from saying my prayers daily, to working out, or to just getting up and into work at some desired time. All of these things I attempt half-heartedly, and somehow never manage to make happen with any regularity at all.

This morning I ran through and read all my favorite blogs… This one, this one and THIS one. I read them all almost everyday – Monday through Friday. They are all really different sites but still they get my mind thinking about things in their own ways.

I am feeling tired and somewhat stressed out. Hoping that’ll pass pretty soon.

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