Spike on the River
Neal in Antarctica
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January 14, 2005 - Friday, 1:58 a.m.
It was painful. So much to really reflect upon. I think I'll keep most of it to myself. However, it was terribly hard to be silent as I gave Mark a ride home. We managed to say very little beyond what needed to be said, like directions to his house. Mark really only said one thing. He said I have to say, I feel terrible. I replied with, We have a lot to think about. The only other thing I really said was, I need a hug. He gave me a good hard hug, which I returned. He also kissed me on the side of my neck while he was hugging me. It was a long night, a lot of stuff talked about and thought about. I needed a hug bad, and I wanted that hug to be from him. It was brave of me to speak my mind and tell him that. Outside of my comfort zone. It was exactly what I needed. Though a much longer hug would have helped more, it wouldn't have been practical. It was just the right amount of intimacy and support. It felt really nice.
I kept silent for my hour and then wrote up my thoughts on the game. Gah!!
Thank you, Mark, for the hug.