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December 17, 2004 - Friday, 2:41 p.m.

My Buddy... Orion

I’ve been leaving my curtains open lately at night when I sleep. When I am laying it bed I can see off to the east a little out my window over the roof of the house next door. In the early predawn hours, when I seem to wake up, I noticed that there is a really bright ‘star’. I figured it was the ‘Morning Star’, and couldn’t remember what planet that would be. A little research found it to be Venus. Looks like she’ll be keeping me company for most of the winter.

What is it about the night sky and the stars that I find so comforting? As a kid I grew up in Minnesota, and like any good Minnesotan I learned to skate at a young age and by the time I was in my late grade school years spent every night at the local park ice-skating. It was a different time for sure. I would skate until the warming house closed at 9 pm on week days and 10 pm on the weekends. I skated with friends, but not with anyone that lived near me, so I’d head home some four or five blocks from the rink on my own. The park was north of our house, so I’d walk home heading due south. Always in the southern sky was Orion. If I could see Orion in the sky, then I never felt alone. I would talk to him as I walked home. And I mean ACTUALLY talk to him. He kept me company so many, many nights. I still find great comfort in seeing that constellation in the night sky, like an old friend. Silly as it sounds, I still say hello to Orion if I see him in the sky.

Trying to take a couple steps back from everything. The daydreaming isn’t conducive to anything, other then distorting expectations. So trying to refocus my attention. This weekend is busy. Tonight is our Christmas Party for work. Will show up and visit for a little while, and then head on home. Tomorrow Amity and Josh are getting married. So exciting! So strange to think about the kids getting married, that’s the third marriage this year in that generation after me. The boys really grew up fast. The few years that you have kids go by so quickly. Then next week I have four workdays and it’s time to start lining up whatever I hope to accomplish over the shutdown at work. Ten days!! Unbelievable. I will get the tile work done in the bathroom in the basement. I need to measure that this weekend or early next week, get a drawing done up and figure out how much tile we need to buy.

Justin has been working on getting that last bedroom in the basement cleaned up. Would be nice to get the laundry room cleaned out as well. We need to make decisions on the furniture in there and get rid of the stuff we don’t want. Will be nice to get the house back in order. The construction project in the basement has been going on for about a year now. Time to be done with that!! Dad has been down and working on the taping. He’s also been cleaning up the junk out of there like boards and old drywall. We should be able to contemplate leveling the floor. I need to spend some time removing the bad concrete so that we can work on fixing the floor. I’ll be so happy to see the carpet go down and those rooms be done!

I hope that Mark will be able to help me with the tile work and the floor, but we’ll see. I know he is busy. I need to figure out what I can afford to have someone else do.

Hmmmm… just got back from picking up my lunch. This morning when I went and got breakfast and saw Mark, I felt that something wasn’t right. Now when I went over there for lunch he told me everything was ‘peachy’. I distinctly recall the last time things were ‘peachy’; he was just like he was today. I didn’t go to the cafeteria the next day, but when I returned the following day he apologized saying that he’d been ill and really not feeling well. So I am sure my gut is right and something is bothering him. The question is, do I call him this afternoon and check on him? Or let it slide? It not specifically a bad mood that I am seeing, but ... yes... thinly veiled. He is SO putting on a front that everything is fine, when I can tell it isn't. It could be anything, but he’s guarded and it’s all very palpable, it just hangs there in the air. I tried to talk to him a little and made eye contact to try to read him, he wasn’t letting me see. Not the right place. We’ll see how he reacts if I call him, which I probably will… once I am out of here today.

M.


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