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August 31, 2004 - Tuesday, 6:55 a.m.
Just sitting here trying to formulate whatís going through my mind... and it is so much and so chaotic that it isn't forming a sensible thought. It's like sitting in a theatre and having a thousand things flying towards you on the screen. Which thing to focus on, which this is important to look at and think about... and then... how do you explain this blur to anyone?
It feels like another autumn day, though it is the last day of August. Almost feels as though itís the last day of summer. The sun is up. To the east it is cloudy so the sky was pink, purple and blue just half hour ago. Now it is mostly just a grey-blue. Itís still cool out this morning, but as usual the windows are open and my room is cool. The traffic on the highway, half a mile away, is awake and moving. Itís calm. No wind and the chimes arenít singing this morning. Just heard the train horn blow, itís rattling through town as well. Itís morning. The desire to get dressed and enter the working arena is low this morning. Only the desire to get the hours in is pushing me to get ready for work.
I wasnít terribly motivated to get my school work done last night. Bad girl. I did the bare necessities, but now have some to do today at lunch. I tried to read my operations textbook, GAH!! I canít let it get too far behind, but it was dryÖ or at least my mind had more desire to drift off to sleep then concentrate on it.
Terribly restless this week, Iím sure it is a mixture of all the new things going on, school, Phil at college, financesÖ seems like I am stretched over far too much stuff. I seem to be maintaining far too high a level of stress on a daily basis. Some stress relief is much needed, but the prospects are slim.
Really must pull myself together and get out the door. The day is calling me.